Women Empowerment went wrong?

| January 10, 2015

India is renowned for its rich culture and heritage across the planet. Over thousands of years a great number of sages, rishis, munis, yogis, etc have gone through strict penance seeking the nature of truth dwelling in forests in isolation by meditating for a long periods of time. After achieving self-realization, several secrets had been discovered that improve humanity in general if certain ways of living recommended by their sacred vision are followed. The practice of these recommendations gradually became traditions over time. As long as people respected and followed them, the society was booming in all positive aspects. It is for this reason, India was a target for relentless attacks by foreigners for centuries until 1947 for not only to steal material wealth but also ancient knowledge and wisdom in particular.

Fast forward to 21st century, hardly anyone today gives importance to our traditions and customs, tends to mimic western like life style that is mainly self-centered from an Indian point of view and thinks copying this life style is ‘cool’. But if one zooms out and look at the picture with a broader perspective, India that was once prospering for centuries is heading towards progressive self-destruction. This statement can be supported by plethora of examples such as rate of outrageous atrocities occurring in our society on daily basis.

One such negative outcomes of living a so called modern life-style is the number of divorces that is sky-rocketing exponentially year after year. As men are more emotional than women when it comes to safe guarding family ties, marital issues are leading men to take the path of suicide at an alarming rate. Today men commit suicide more than twice as women do as per NCRB report. If this trend continues for next couple of years and decades, it will have devastating impact on the society as the fabric of foundation for a sustainable society would take the hit and only time will manifest this in inconceivable ways of the irreparable damage.

‘Kanyadan’ is a sacred step in Indian wedding ceremonies practiced as a tradition for thousands of years in which bride/wife’s father respectfully hands over care taking responsibilities of his daughter to the groom/husband and his family among hundreds of witnesses before she moves to the new family. From that moment the husband and his family assumes the duty of protecting her through thick and thin, make her part of the new family and be treated equal among them. It is also customary that no or least interference is expected from wife’s parents in the new family unless there is a life-threatening or major issue or such sort with their daughter.

Kanyandan occurs in almost all Indian weddings even today but unfortunately, the wife and her parents do not actually mean it, at least in urban areas. This is turning out to be purely hypocritical ritual. Daughters are being brought up with wrong values by the parents inspired by the parents’ complete dismissal of values for tradition, by their attachment, ego and greed for money. During the days of Varnashrama system in the Indian society centuries ago, women actually outnumbered men studying in gurukuls and later several foreign invasions of India led to suppression of women denying education and other basic rights. But things have been improving dramatically since independence and women caught up with men in every field, especially in urban India. The difference is there was hardly any separation after marriage back then unlike now which can be attributed to the life style and honoring of Indian values.

Today women achieve higher degrees, find jobs and earn equal to men which is greatly appreciable and any open minded society like India favors it. Sadly, women are also becoming, in the process, self-centered and arrogant knowingly or unknowingly right from childhood due to improper upbringing by parents with no proper emphasis on values of the Indian family system. The mindset of women’s parents is such that- their daughter earns equally as the husband and so there is no reason for their daughter or them to respect the husband or his family; as Indian laws are wife-friendly, they can be exploited to extort money from the husband and his family by implicating them in false cases such as dowry harassment; abuse the women favorable laws to seek vengeance by filing false domestic violence and other cases for petty incidents for their ego satiation. In some instances where kids are involved, the wife and her parents go to the extremes of using kids, who will most likely be in their mother’s custody after physical separation, as a weapon to impose insane conditions on husband and his parents and blackmail emotionally.

The wife also, imbibed of this temperament from her parents, even after marriage continues to behave as a daughter instead of as a wife, a mother or a daughter-in-law. She also exaggerates incidents and complains to her parents against the husband and his parents for no reason knowing that the society, law and her parents are all by her side and she pretends as a victim. Her parents, rather than delving into the root cause of the so called issue to find a solution, just blindly believe their daughter, make an instant judgement and initiates reckless action against her husband and his parents taking advantage of women-friendly laws. The end result, as one can predict easily using common sense, is the loss of trust by the husband on his wife and eventually ruination of marriage and in growing number of cases, suicides by married men.

To sum up, before a couple gets married both parties should explicitly share their expectations to each other and should come to common terms with each others expectations, preferably done among several witnesses. Carrying out hypocritical rituals and making false impressions of oneself before or during marriage will bring no peace and harmony to the marital life. Also, living a western life style versus a modern (Indian) life style needs to be fully understood.

The Views are of the author and not of the admins of site.

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Editorial Note:

The editors are of the view that inherently societies, traditions, and customs treat men as disposable entities and all human progress has been a result of men’s sacrifices. Human civilizations are built on dead bodies of men.

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